Salam Aidil Adha

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim...

Nothing much to say today...

Just wishing everyone

S E L A M A T   H A R I   R A Y A   A I D I L   A D H A

And if I forgot to mention y'all

I'm on S E M E S T E R   B R E A K   now!

Haha.. But actually I planned to find some job.. I mean part time job.. To save some money for next semester.. wish me luck guys! I want an easy job but with high salary.. any suggestions? do hit me if you got any vacancies..  =P

Till we meet again...

~Love, PURPLE~

Pain You Might Never Feel

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim...

A child that is not wanted by her own mother.. a new born child that knew nothing about the world.. why would the woman gave birth to that child if she never wanted her? why would a mother gave away her child to someone else? Is she hoping that the child will get a better life by giving her to the other family? What was she thinking by doing so?

That child, she never knew her birth mother.. she has never been told of the truth about her mother.. she was raised by the family with love.. she should be happy.. the question is, is she truly happy being with them?

The fact that she is an adopted is hid from her.. nobody is allowed to tell her the truth.. everybody was pretending and hoping she would never feel different from other child in the family.. The question is, didn't anybody see that she already realized that she wasn't part of them?

One will be wondering how would she know if no one ever tell her the truth? She would answer: "Never messed up with a child's memory.. They'll remember painful memory you gave  them, though you might already forgot about it". That child, how could she forget every single words thrown to her? a 4 years old child, nobody expects she would remember averything about her childhood when she grew up are they?

A 4 years old child, did everyone think she has no feeling? Why would they ruin her day by saying something odd to her like 'you're an adopted child eh?'.. 'where's your birth mother?'.. Well, sorry but she don't have the answer! what should that child do? She ended up asking the parent, 'why everybody at the kindergarden said that I'm an adopted?' and the answer is 'well, everybody was joking with you..' Did the parent expect her to believe it when everyday went the same like a cycle.. the same words are thrown at her and she has no answer for that..

That child, she study really hard to be acknowledge by everyone. She wants to prove that she'll become a daughter that will be proud by the parent.. and she succeeded. But the rewards to her effort is the truth she wants to avoid. She heard the neighbour's was praising the mother of how lucky she was to be having an adopted child like that girl.. have anybody imagine how would a 12 years old girl feel when she heard that truth? did anyone know how hard she cried that day? the day to celebrate her excellent exam results turn out to be the day to bewail of her pity-self..

That girl, she don't know what to do anymore.. but she swear to herself, she would give her everything and become successful one day..

The parent, besides having that girl, they also have their own child.. a son, and they love him so much.. that son, he will get anything he want by any means he could.. compared to that poor girl, that son get showered of love by the parent.. that son, he just need to ask for anything he want, and he sure will get it.. but that girl, if she ever needed anything, she will have to get it by herself.. and she understands her position, that she should never complain because she is just an outsider..

That girl, if you ever know her, you might never feel her pain or even see it.. because she tries her best to be happy and to be love by her friends.. she would do her best to help her friends and make them stay with her.. she would try her best to make them smile and laugh.. because they are the only reason she could be happy and smiling.. because at home, she feels insecure.. she cannot be free.. she don't have anyone to talk to.. she's lonely.. very lonely..

That girl, they don't have to remind her where's her place.. she knew it.. she knew she has nothing, but they should realize one thing: she has feeling.. she know sometimes she became to aggresive, she would raised her voice when she's talking.. because she cannot tell her true feeling.. because she cannot show the pain they're giving her.. and if they ever give her a chance to tell her feeling, she still doesn't know how to show it.. she was never good at talking about her feelings towards them.. but deep down, she still love them.. she appreciate their sacrifice to brought her up till now..

That girl, today she cries a lot.. because they hurt her feelings again.. she has nothing and nobody in this world but herself.. and she knew her place in that family.. she's just an outsider.. she tried her best to become a useful person to repay them.. she endure everything although sometimes she's thinking of giving up and run away..

That girl, she has no place to go and no place to return to.. she has no one to share her pain.. and all she can do is cry till the last of her teardrops..

Road to Sungai Berembang

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim...

Been planning to go to Sungai Berembang (near Kuala Perlis) to buy Belacan for Azu's mom.. Although the gum pain I'm having is not lessen for bit, still I'm looking for something exciting like taking a walk by the sea side to freshen up.. So we decided to go by the morning..

We've been trying to find the way in to the sea shell digging area, unfortunately we never found it.. So we decided to watch from afar.. We sat by the sea shore and just watch the sea water rise to the shore.. and not to forget watching The Mud Skipper (ikan belacak) playing by the mudded sea shore.. I've taken some pictures there before we went to buy belacan. Enjoy the view~

 

Some of pics taken using the Sepia effect..

It turn out to be amazing eh?

Headbang!!!

It's what I've been thinking.. Today is the worst day of my life during this whole year?not really but it sure sucks!

The pain from last night is still stinging, and it's actually getting worst! And when I started to answer the exam questions, it became more and more tragic as the question is like a door to a dark and empty road..

Maybe it could be describe as weirdest+craziest+silliest questions I ever met in the whole universe?huhhh.. it's making me thinking of doing Chik's suggestion on the night before: rolling on the floor and cry outloud in the exam hall!

Saat Terakhir

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim...

What a bad day! Esok my last paper, Artificial Intelligent at 9.00 a.m. Jangan haraplah nak dengar aku cakap I'm ready! Let's go for it! haha.. umpama mimpi dalam mimpi..

Ape lah malang nasib aku.. da dekat sangat dengan exam tiba-tiba plak gigi wat hal.. bukan sakit gigi/ gigi lobang.. tapi gigi nak tumbuh.. korang tau kan istilah 'geraham bongsu'..

Tak tau?hah..ni die info yang aku jumpe..

"Molars are the rearmost and most complicated kind of tooth in most mammals. In many mammals they grind food; hence the Latin name mola, "millstone". Adult humans have twelve molars, in four groups of three at the back of the mouth.

"Third molar teeth (commonly referred to as wisdom teeth) consist of the mandibular and maxillary third molars; they usually appear between the ages of 17 and 25. They are called wisdom teeth because they usually come in when a person is between age 17 and 25 or older—old enough to have supposedly gained some wisdom. Most adults have four wisdom teeth, but it is possible to have more or fewer. Absence of one or more wisdom teeth is an example of hypodontia. Wisdom teeth commonly affect other teeth as they develop, becoming impacted or "coming in sideways". They are often extracted when this occurs." - source from wikipedia

Haa.. da tau kan? sambung cite.. gusi aku ni da penuh dengan gigi sebenarnye.. aku da kire hari tu gigi aku ade 33 kalo tak salah.. celah mane aku pon tak tau sampai 33.. tapi memang tol pon.. gigi aku tak tersusun.. suke ati die je nak tumbuh kat mane.. tahun lepas selain daripada wisdom teeth, sebatang lagi tumbuh kat sebelah kanan, atas.. memang dah takde ruang pon, so die tumbuh kat luar gusi.. ni contoh die.. aku takde la letak gambar gigi aku yang btol.. tapi nak tunjuk la keajaiban gigi ni bleh tumbuh kat mane-mane tempat je yang die suke..

Okeh..sambung cite pasal wisdom teeth.. da takde ruang, die korek gak gusi aku ni.. nak gak kuar tak menyempat-nyempat.. sampai luka gusi aku.. and i ended up tak boleh kunyah makanan.. masuk mulut je telan teros.. memang sakit.. nak nangis rase.. aku call chik, call ayah untuk ngadu.. huhu.. camne ni.. aku study tak abes gi.. gigi lak wat hal time kemuncak gini..

Aku tabahkan hati.. study gak.. sumbat telinga dengan earphone, pasang lagu best, study.. tiba-tiba sampai satu lagu ni, alamak.. cair den.. punya mendayu-dayu.. sedih plak.. terkenang masa dulu-dulu.. macam-macam kenangan suka duka.. huhu.. jom layan lagu.. korang download la snirik kalo nak dengar.. haha.. aku letak lirik je.. sok exam.. da~

Saat Terakhir by ST Dua Belas

Tak pernah terpikir olehku
Tak sedikitpun kubayangkan
Kau akan pergi tinggalkanku sendiri

Begitu sulit kubayangkan
Begitu sakit kurasakan
Kau akan pergi
Tinggalkanku sendiri

Dibawah batu nisan kini kau tlah sandarkan
Kasih sayang kamu begitu dalam
sungguhku tak sanggup ini terjadi
kerna ku sangat cinta

Inilah saat terakhirku melihat kamu
Jatuh airmataku menangis pilu
Hanya mampu ucapkan slamat jalan kasih

Satu jam saja kutelah bisa
Cintai kamu, kamu, kamu dihatiku
Namun bagiku melupakanmu
Butuh waktuku seumur hidup

Satu jam saja kutelah bisa
Sayangi kamu dihatiku
Namun bagiku melupakanmu
Butuh waktuku seumur hidup
dinantiku

MIXED UP

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim...

This time, I named this post as MIXED UP coz I'm gonna mix few things in one post.. Firstly I want to share a story I just came across few hours ago from others blog.. Forgot to copy the address, but still this is something to share with everyone..

A STORY TO SHARE

An old man was traveling with his 25 year old son in a train. As train started moving, the young man was filled with a lot of joy and curiosity at the sights outside the train. He was sitting next to the window.

He put his hand outside the window and felt the passing air. He shouted, "Papa see all trees are going behind". Old man smiled admiringly at his son's feelings. Beside the young man a couple was sitting and listening to the conversation between father and son. They were a little awkward with the attitude of the 25 year old man behaving like a small child.

Suddenly the young man shouted again, "Papa see the pond and animals. See how the clouds are moving along with the train". The couple watching the young man was getting more and more uncomfortable at the young mans behavior, but it had no effect on either the father or the son.

Suddenly, it started raining and rain drops fall on the young man's hand. The young man is overjoyed and he shouts again, "Papa, see it's raining, see the raindrops on my hands papa". The couple couldn't help themselves and ask the old man.
"It seems that your son is not well. Why don't you have your son treated?"

The father said,
" Yes, We are coming from the hospital. My son was born blind. Due to the new technologies and breakthroughs, it is just today that my son got his eye sight. He is excited as he is seeing things for the first time in his life".

~~~

That's just normal isn't it? People always come to conclusion without any considerations and looking for the truth.. They just point out their fingers and started to make assumptions on their own without acknowledging others feeling.. Sometimes people tends to stick up their nose in others business and making a simple things turn complicated..

CRAZY~LOSE CONTROL~MADNESS

Whew! Don't know which of the above could describe me now.. Err.. seems like I've prepared for the coming papers but I'm actually not sure what's happening to me.. The hormone maybe? A friend thinks that girls hormone changed as the exam approaching.. Maybe his right lol~

I realized this one thing happened to me everytime the exam is coming which is, I'd become an internet addicted.. I would surf from site to site, doing things passionately realizing that I haven't finish memorizing everything on the notes! Gosh.. What is happening to me? I just can't turn away from my laptop.. But to shut down and put it away ain't a brilliant idea coz some of my notes isn't printed so I'll need to read them straight from the monitor..

And the other thing is, I've taken a lot of time understanding and memorizing the principles and process and whatever there needs to be done, still my head is like EMPTY.. demm.. hurghhhhh.. what am I going to do now?

LOOKING FOR CHE AH

Err this part is especially dedicated to Che Ah.. eyh.. where have you been dear? I've been trying to reach you but don't know where to start.. Your friendster seems to be left for how-many-month-I'm-not-sure.. And I didn't keep your email address.. been wondering where are you.. How 'bout your study? It's about time for you to finish it right? Do hit me  back anywhere you can reach me girl..

BOY/MAN

I just can't understand this species really.. They tend to do wrongs but never seems to learned the lessons.. And sometimes they didn't even realize the wrongs they've done.. screw them! (only to people who's done wrong to me) But still, I love my dad, my lil' bro and Chik (he's like a brother to me though he isn't from my family).. can't live without these guys..