A child that is not wanted by her own mother.. a new born child that knew nothing about the world.. why would the woman gave birth to that child if she never wanted her? why would a mother gave away her child to someone else? Is she hoping that the child will get a better life by giving her to the other family? What was she thinking by doing so?
That child, she never knew her birth mother.. she has never been told of the truth about her mother.. she was raised by the family with love.. she should be happy.. the question is, is she truly happy being with them?
The fact that she is an adopted is hid from her.. nobody is allowed to tell her the truth.. everybody was pretending and hoping she would never feel different from other child in the family.. The question is, didn't anybody see that she already realized that she wasn't part of them?
One will be wondering how would she know if no one ever tell her the truth? She would answer: "Never messed up with a child's memory.. They'll remember painful memory you gave them, though you might already forgot about it". That child, how could she forget every single words thrown to her? a 4 years old child, nobody expects she would remember averything about her childhood when she grew up are they?
A 4 years old child, did everyone think she has no feeling? Why would they ruin her day by saying something odd to her like 'you're an adopted child eh?'.. 'where's your birth mother?'.. Well, sorry but she don't have the answer! what should that child do? She ended up asking the parent, 'why everybody at the kindergarden said that I'm an adopted?' and the answer is 'well, everybody was joking with you..' Did the parent expect her to believe it when everyday went the same like a cycle.. the same words are thrown at her and she has no answer for that..
That child, she study really hard to be acknowledge by everyone. She wants to prove that she'll become a daughter that will be proud by the parent.. and she succeeded. But the rewards to her effort is the truth she wants to avoid. She heard the neighbour's was praising the mother of how lucky she was to be having an adopted child like that girl.. have anybody imagine how would a 12 years old girl feel when she heard that truth? did anyone know how hard she cried that day? the day to celebrate her excellent exam results turn out to be the day to bewail of her pity-self..
That girl, she don't know what to do anymore.. but she swear to herself, she would give her everything and become successful one day..
The parent, besides having that girl, they also have their own child.. a son, and they love him so much.. that son, he will get anything he want by any means he could.. compared to that poor girl, that son get showered of love by the parent.. that son, he just need to ask for anything he want, and he sure will get it.. but that girl, if she ever needed anything, she will have to get it by herself.. and she understands her position, that she should never complain because she is just an outsider..
That girl, if you ever know her, you might never feel her pain or even see it.. because she tries her best to be happy and to be love by her friends.. she would do her best to help her friends and make them stay with her.. she would try her best to make them smile and laugh.. because they are the only reason she could be happy and smiling.. because at home, she feels insecure.. she cannot be free.. she don't have anyone to talk to.. she's lonely.. very lonely..
That girl, they don't have to remind her where's her place.. she knew it.. she knew she has nothing, but they should realize one thing: she has feeling.. she know sometimes she became to aggresive, she would raised her voice when she's talking.. because she cannot tell her true feeling.. because she cannot show the pain they're giving her.. and if they ever give her a chance to tell her feeling, she still doesn't know how to show it.. she was never good at talking about her feelings towards them.. but deep down, she still love them.. she appreciate their sacrifice to brought her up till now..
That girl, today she cries a lot.. because they hurt her feelings again.. she has nothing and nobody in this world but herself.. and she knew her place in that family.. she's just an outsider.. she tried her best to become a useful person to repay them.. she endure everything although sometimes she's thinking of giving up and run away..
That girl, she has no place to go and no place to return to.. she has no one to share her pain.. and all she can do is cry till the last of her teardrops..
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